Mid Life crisis at 32!

It's been a while. I guess it takes discipline to write a blog. Either that or time or a good memory. Time is something I have little of and I am still suffering from baby brain so there's little hope for me!

It's been a strange day today. My 4 year old went straight from Nursery to her friends for lunch and to play. I didn't see her until 3 o'clock. A good friend of mine and I are easing each other into the fact that our children will start Reception in Septmeber. Not something new for either of us, but this is her youngest child and would have been mine too. Four more months and I would have had some freedom. I adore my children but after nine years at home I had planned on deciding what to do with my life. Would I start a career or start my own business? The opportunities seemed endless. I could sit and paint canvases all day, not something I'd done since Uni. I could make beautiful cushions or lovely home accessories. Maybe I would train to be a teacher or finally start my Masters. Instead I've got to wait another 4 years. Or do I? Could I not do something and look after a baby? Well she is now 8 months old and won't be a baby forever? But now the problem is I don't know what to do? Many women do all the things I've said with a baby but can I?

Maybe it's time to bite the bullet and commit to an idea and make it happen. Too many choices and no time to spare. I guess I'll have to make time and still do what I planned to do. But what shall I do? A mid-life crisis at 32 does not bode well, I had planned to live longer than 64!

Grey clouds and grumpy children

I wonder if the weather affects childrens moods just like us 'grown-ups'? After several days of glorious sunshine and happy children teh clouds are now covering the sky and my children are moaning, fighting and shouting. Thanks mother nature for saving this gloomy day for the weekend. So now my husband & I face a day of grumpy children. at least our eldest daughter is off to a party soon and the boys have golf this afternoon, so there maybe some respite! I can only hope tomorrow will be better as its Mothers Day.

Misconceptions about large families

We took the children to the library this morning on route to the forest. There was one of those women there. The ones that have 2.4 children and look down at you for daring to have more than the 'average'. These women (and men alike) assume that as you have lots of children they will all be badly behaved and then shock horror that I actually have a husband in tow. It just so happens that our children are almost always very well behaved (when out , of course they are not angels they're children!) and often praised for their good manners. Obviously they have their moments when they decide to scream in Tesco but all children do this at some stage in their lives....don't they? Just because some people choose to have four or more children does not make them a bad person, it doesn't mean that their chidlren are badly behaved and we can actually have all these children with the same husband without living on a grotty housing estate. Just as many women choose not to have children and are reguarly critisied by our ageing population for doing so, there are those people who hold huge misconceptions about large families. Fifty years ago my husband and I would not look like a freak show walking along with our five children. Children are a blessing however many we choose to have.

No chickens, just a puppy.

Well the chicken hasn't delivered any spots, but we will wait to see if he comes in the next couple of weeks. However we may not have a chicken but we're getting a puppy. A very cute chocolate labrador. The children are very excited and I am trying to be! I guess I just keep thinking of the extra work and not of the enjoyment a puppy will bring. Although my fab husband has offered to house train our new arrival which is a great help. I'm still getting used to him being here all the time (my husband, the puppy arrives tomorrow). Somedays I feel likes he's under my feet then other days I love having him here after years of him working away. I suppose it must be strange for him too. I'm sure he finds the noise in the house exhausting somedays (I know I do!) after all the time on his own in his truck. To be honest it's the best thing ever having an extra pair of hands (& eyes!) and still being in love with such a great man when you spend all day together!

Will the chicken deliver his spots?

We maybe getting chickenpox. By we I mean my 4 year old daughter. It seems there is an epidemic at school, which includes her nursery. Thankfully the older three have already had it but the younger two are yet to have the itchy experience. 'A' is sniffly and a bit warm and sticky so we shall wait to see if the chicken will land, as she seems to think a chicken will deliver her spots.

In some ways I'd rather get the dreaded illness out of the way now but then I hope we can wait a bit longer as I don't really want a 4month old baby with chickenpox. So I will wait and see if the chicken does deliver his spots to my house!

Pocket Money

After running around after the children and them not always doing their jobs to earn their pocket money, I have spent the last few minutes creating a bright rota to stick on the kitchen wall. I now eagerly await their return from school in a few hours to see how my new plan of action is greeted. As I keep reminding them there are alot of us living in this house and it's really not fair for one person to do all the tidying up! I haven't asked for much, just to put away their own washing pile (thanks for the tip), to tidy their rooms (the boys must also dust as they get more money being older), one pair of children to polish the shoes and the other pair to lay the table. Am I unreasonable? I don't think so, they will learn that you have to work to earn money,not a bad thing. They have already learnt to save their pocket money and happily saved to buy a guitar,a Little Mermaid, a PSII game and a big art box to name a few. Now I am just going to make sure I don't forget they have to earn this money instead of letting them get away with it. And all this for £6.25 a week...cheaper than a cleaner!!!!!!

Life's too short

Five months ago I received a call very late to say my father had died. He had had a massive heart attack in Waitrose car park. Three days later I was admitted to hospital at 33 weeks pregnant praying my scar would not rupture and that both baby & I would make it home. We did. When it seems as though a pack of cards are falling all around you, you start to question what is important. Small things that would make you mad suddenly seem irrelevant and you ask questions of yourself that you may never have asked. I have spent the past five months wondering if my Dad was happy, did he get to do the things that he wanted to do? I cannot answer these questions because Dad & I for the past seven years only wrote at Christmas. This was an amicable unspoken agreement after many years of not really knowing each other. I can only hope that he was happy and that he did get to do the things he had wanted.

So this morning when I got cross that my husband was still asleep in bed at 9.30 and I was the one that got up in the night to feed our baby (not a job he physically could actually do), and he no longer got up at 4.30am every weekday to go to work, I stopped getting mad and thought.....Life's too short.

I love Suffolk in the springtime!

At last there is a sense that Spring maybe around the corner. I am really not a fan of the winter...no let me rephrase that ...I HATE RAIN!!!! I don't mind the cold but I hate it being cold & wet. Today we have had blue skies and it has been enjoyable to walk the children to school. After weeks of jumping in the car to save getting wet we have managed to walk again yesterday & today, I had forgotten what a difference it makes to walk. The children are really hungry so they eat all their dinner and seem to argue less after school when they have walked. I also feel much brighter and full of energy when the sun shines. Suddenly I want to give the house a thorough clean and start work on the garden. Now I can only hope that the sun lasts so my eldest can go to his friends go-karting party and all my boys can play golf tomorrow and maybe we'll even get to walk on the beach. Oh happy days are here again!!!!!

Books - the best escapism I know!

There's great excitement this morning as the children realise it's World Book day and that means they will be given a voucher to exchange for a new book. I guess as avid readers ourselves our love of reading has been adopted by our children. My eldest son amazes me as he soaks up the adventures of Harry Potter and Alex Rider at only 8 years old. Whilst I reguarly enter the world according to Lola in the fantastic Lauren Child 'Charlie and Lola' books, at bedtime or anytime really. Our favourite at the moment is all about Lola's wobbly tooth and my 7 year old son finds it hilarious listening to this story and I guess it helps him understand 2 of his younger sisters....our very own Lola's!! Although L turned 6 last week and we have now well and truly dipped our toes into a more grown up version of the 'Charlie & Lola' tales as we enter the world of Clarice Bean. Another fantastic Lauren Child creation.

As for me I'm waiting for a moment to start the latest Cecilia Ahern, catch up on my magazine and maybe read the newspaper from Sunday...even though it's Thursday!! Oh and then I managed to get the new Kate Muir novel from the library, I feel this will be renewed at least twice as my eyes close at the thought of bed never mind sitting up reading as we enter the teething stage with Boo, (nickname from the children).

Lifes Lottery

It's one of those days when I find it hard to get motivated and just end up plodding through the normal tasks of housework. On days like these I find myself daydreaming about a career and having a cleaner! I love being a mummy and working from home but days like today I wish I was a lawyer or a teacher or something else. The summer will be here soon and everything looks a lot rosier then and the days are longer and seem more relaxed. Will it ever stop raining??????

At least my children are at a good school and won't have to go through the awful lottery of getting a good school place in the next few years, (there's only one high school in our town). I do not envy any of those families waiting for the envolope to drop through the door today. I can rememebr the feeling of complete failure when I failed my 12+, having been expected to pass. Mum decided to send me to an all girls secondary school, out of catchment, but failed to realise that this would mean to see my friends at weekends and in school hols she would have to drive me there, as the buses were few and irregular. Maybe in the long term I did better going to that school rather than the high school or the local secondary school but I don't think it helped not having friends just around the corner. Anyway my thoughts are with those children who may face the look of failure from their parents in the next 48 hours but it doesn't mean they are doomed. I still got an excellent education and went on to uni so don't give up just yet.

washing, washing everywhere and not a thing to wear

Although it could well be water, water everywhere the way the rains coming down today. It's true I live in a washing mountain. Everywhere I turn in my tiny house there is either a dirty sock or a clothes horse bursting with damp clothes or the washing machine is humming away, (and giving off an awful smell of rotten eggs...any cures for this greatly appreciated!), the actual dirty laundry basket is overflowing again and then there's all the washing waiting to be put away, never mind the ironing. Where does it all come from??? I know really it's just incredible that 7 people can create such a mountain, a full time job on its own. I find myself wearing something for an extra day just to avoid putting it in the toppling basket of dirty washing.

Then if it's not washing it's mountains of newspapers, drawings, magazines, toys. I live in a world of piles of stuff and mountains of washing. Who said Suffolk was quite flat..they should pay a visit to this 3 bed terrace and I will prove Suffolk is far from flat.

So as my baby sleeps I wonder round with arms full of things in a vain attempt to find the floor & table again. Maybe I should just make another cup of coffee and wait for those country life squirrels to appear and clean it all up for me. Well that's how my children think the house is cleaned!!!!!!!